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Showing posts from March, 2012

ADDICTION: SEARCHING FOR YOUR SOUL

You know that feeling you get right before you decide you’re breaking the rules? No matter what the consequence, you don’t care? No matter if someone gets hurt, you’re going to do it anyways, lie about it, and if someone gets in your way, they better watch out. There is no stopping you, and you’ll hide, cheat, and steal to get your entitled addiction. If someone finds out, there’s always a lie you can tell to distract the blame from yourself and to make your decision seem justifiable. The force between you and your addiction is so strong that you’re willing to mutilate relationships, your body, and your life to get it. For me, that lying, cheating, scandalous force was against my extremist control and restriction from food and from gaining fat. As soon as I had a bite of something I judged as bad, or that was off my pre-determined and calculated food allotment (like a pastry), my mind would go into a tunnel. My decision to go off plan was usually because I thought I could handle it.