Weight-Loss Apocalypse

A year ago I noticed something very frightening: a lump in my right breast/arm pit area. After three months of observation, I noticed it would increase in size and tenderness about 10 days before my period, but would disappear as soon as I started my menstrual cycle. Then, again, it would appear about ten days before the following period. I scheduled a breast exam with two different doctors and both said it wasn’t something I should worry about. Each month I noticed it was slightly bigger and more obvious than the previous month. By this past February, it was worth worrying about.  There was no doubt in my mind I had a problem, so I scheduled another doctor’s visit as well as a mammogram and ultrasound. By the time I got the mammogram I had started my period, the lump was smaller, and nothing was found. I left the exam both excited, but also feeling a bit crazy. This is where cold therapy comes in.  I had been reading the blogs written by Dr. Jack Kruse where he des...

One of the most important life sustaining reactions to under-fueling or starvation is a decline in energy demand. This decrease comes from a decrease in thyroid hormones (T4 and T3). With the discovery of leptin in 1994, we more fully understand why this metabolic decrease occurs. Hypothalamic leptin levels are an integral part of why the thyroid supresses, and metabolism decreases during starvation. The link between leptin and starvation has been discussed for well over a decade. Initially scientists viewed leptin as a hormone designed to prevent obesity, but many studies suggest that leptin also signals the switch from a fed to the starved state, which would reduce fat use for fuel. As leptin levels decline, so does the metabolic signal from the brain as well as a decline in fueling from fat. What we understand today is that as eating decreases and the demand for fuel isn't adequately met, leptin levels also decrease, signaling to the brain that the body isn't fueling ade...

One of the most incredible experiences I’ve had is going through labor and delivery of my three children. I remember the intense pain I felt through my pelvis as if I was being ripped apart at the sacrum, similar to the picture of the Levi -brand jeans being torn apart from the right and left side by horses. It felt as if my iliac bones were being ripped out of my body. It would be similar pain to that of being sawed in half at the waist. I couldn’t catch my breath, there was no position that removed the pain, and there was no break between contractions. I remember crying and wondering how I was going to make it through hours of this debilitating pain. Eventually I did get an epidural. However, it didn’t quite work that well. My right side continued to have the excruciating perpetual pain around my spine and hips, so they upped the epidural so much that I couldn’t feel anything. Not one thing. When it came to pushing the nurses had to tell me when to push. I had no idea if I was ha...

Other people’s criticism, or judgment of what is wrong or bad about somebody or something, is merely a reflection of their need to control and dictate rules, guidelines, and boundaries. They are enforcing apon other's the principles by which they use to feel better about themselves. Their criticism is also a reflection of what makes them feel insecure. Otherwise they wouldn’t take the time and effort to impose their opinion with the intent to put other’s down.  It is this type of controlling person that attracts chaos, and expresses criticism that constantly wreaks havoc, attracts conflict, and draws attention towards to their need for attention and control. Could it be that their bias is what they think gives them value, that they like the control they feel when people submit to their judgments, or that criticizing others puts them higher-up in a pecking order? Is their offensive attack to protect and contr...

There is predictability to whether or not people are going to be difficult to work with during the hCG protocol. The most telling information is their denial of emotional eating and their emotional reaction to when food is limited, even without hunger. These patients complain immediately (even before starting) of their disappointment in the protocol restrictions. Like how punished they are because they can’t put cream in their coffee. How bored they are with the food, within days of starting. They’re miffed by the fact they can’t have cheese, or add oil to their cooking. Usually these patients feel it is their right to eat, and their right to lose fat. These patients are so entitled they are ignorant to their own addiction. IT’S YOUR FAULT IF THEY FAIL AND YOUR FAULT IF THEY ARE FAT. These patients are the most difficult to assist. Why? Because they want you to take on the burden of their issues. They want you to give them a pill so they never have to admit faults. They co...

You know that feeling you get right before you decide you’re breaking the rules? No matter what the consequence, you don’t care? No matter if someone gets hurt, you’re going to do it anyways, lie about it, and if someone gets in your way, they better watch out. There is no stopping you, and you’ll hide, cheat, and steal to get your entitled addiction. If someone finds out, there’s always a lie you can tell to distract the blame from yourself and to make your decision seem justifiable. The force between you and your addiction is so strong that you’re willing to mutilate relationships, your body, and your life to get it. For me, that lying, cheating, scandalous force was against my extremist control and restriction from food and from gaining fat. As soon as I had a bite of something I judged as bad, or that was off my pre-determined and calculated food allotment (like a pastry), my mind would go into a tunnel. My decision to go off plan was usually because I thought I could handle it....

Control is what you pay for when you sign up for a diet or fitness program. You feel insecure about your body in some shape or form. You pay someone who says they have the secret recipe through either food intake or exercise, or both, that will change your body-- thus fixing your insecurity. They give you a list of rules: don't eat this, eat that, burn calories this way, eat at this time, only eat this much, exercise this way, for that long, etc. You succumb to whatever rules they give-- in desperate hope you're body can be transformed into what you think will make you a happier person. Or at least to what will make you feel better about that certain body part you don't like. If the diet plan works, you're left to believe you can't stop, because now you're dependent on it to keep your body secure from regressing back to the way it was. For example, you've lost all of your excess fat with the hCG protocol, yet you still think you need to follow some ...

One of the funniest things we do as humans is try to control things, especially controlling how we are perceived by others. We follow an idea of how something should be and we try to force the idea within ourselves and others. A perfect example of this is clothing. Observe how jeans have changed in the last thirty years. It starts with an artist who designs a shape, a color, or a logo. Then there is judgment of anything other than that. The people who want to control others to feel better about themselves are the most critical and in order to perceive themselves as higher in a pecking order of value, they judge others who don't wear the trend. Then followers who are defined by how their clothes are judged, follow the opinion of the most critical, again, to avoid judgment and to feel more valuable. As the fear of judgment and fear of being less valuable in the eyes of others continues as a ripple affect, the overall dress code chan...

Do you have any memories as a child where you actually felt loved? A moment when you received a positive feeling that your mom or dad thought you were special? If it wasn't from your parents was it from someone else? A teacher, a friend's mom, the toys you played with, the new clothes you wore, the friends you had in junior high, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a piece of cake, music, a drink of alcohol, your religious measure, watching your first porn, gambling, sex, or something else that made you feel good about yourself? Usually that feeling of love gives you butterflies, a feeling of importance, a sense of pride, a moment of acceptance and security, and that feeling is what we continue to seek for the rest of our lives. But for many, that love was only received under a condition (let's say sex) and you're forced to submit or to accept that condition (even though it feels like fear and trauma), just for a moment of feeling loved or valuable. If it wasn't molestati...

Caring was my addiction. I cared so much that I psychotically controlled everything to avoid fat gain. Because I cared about being thin, fat gain was what I thought was hell, and what I thought would be the death of my value.   CRAZY.    When I made the choice to not commit suicide, I knew I would have to submit to the fact that when I let go of control, my worst nightmare would happen and I had to just assume I was going to end up weighing 600 pounds. I decided not to care, and to accept obesity if that was indeed the result. I chose to put my ego aside, and to instead trust that if I were to listen to my body, and give it a chance to lead the way, that I was willing to find out what the outcome would be. I would not eat without hunger, I would not control what and how much I ate, I wouldn't judge the food (which always ended in shame, fear and guilt), and I would never again exercise to compensate or to relieve the anxiety. I would surrender m...

Somewhere along the line you were told you suck. You were parented or “friended” into being something other than yourself. You were told to change who you are, otherwise your mom and dad wouldn’t like you, your friends wouldn’t accept you, society wouldn’t praise you, and without someone’s opinion to tell you if you were doing a good job− you’d never know what your value was. In short, your value is externally created. It has to be earned. When someone says you’re doing great! They add to your value. When someone judges you negatively, they have the power to take from your value. Think about how you react when someone angrily honks their car horn at you. Do you react by feeling angry and defensive? Does that random stranger have the power to make you feel emotionally threatened? Is that because other’s reaction to you is so important to your perceived value? You are at the mercy of other’s judgment, other’s opinion, and other’s validation in order to define your success, the quali...

How much energy and judgment each day do you give to your weight, what you are eating, the diet you are following (or not), and to your overall value as a person? If I were to throw out a percentage of people I help who spend over 90% of the day thinking about these things, I would say over 85% of my clients are obsessed with their body, diets, and food. It's a co-dependent nightmare. I remember when I was obsessed. I was so afraid of being fat that most of my waking time I'd think about the food, calories, my strategy of control, the exercise I'd have to do, and everything that needed perfect order so that I'd avoid gaining fat. Fear of fat gain became my identity and my expertise.  How many of you reading this have the same fear, or have opposite fear? The opposite fear would be not getting to eat again. Wondering what you will be eating next, when you will get the opportunity to eat, feeling sadness over the foods you think you are entitle to bu...

I've observed over one thousand hCG protocols and personally assisted over 500 people through multiple rounds. From what I've observed with patients, daily administering 125 iu of hCG with Dr. Simeons' very low calorie protocol, only 4 people have brought to my attention their hair loss. The first was a trans-gendered woman (male to female). The second was a woman who lost hair during pregnancy and wasn't worried as she knew her hair would grow back. The third patient had a sensitivity to dry climate (after adding back conditioner her hair stopped falling out). And the fourth, started her second round of the protocol while experiencing debilitating stress and depression, she eliminated both proteins from her diet, and she cheated consistently each week with sugar. Needless to say, if we had known the mental state of this fourth patient, we would not have prescribed her a second round of the hCG protocol. The question I'd like to ask is why are there ...

The biggest failure of the weight-loss and diet industry is the fixation on the consequence of fat. Fat causes disease. Fat creates hormonal problems. Fat can make you self-conscious in our superficial culture. WE HATE FAT AND FAT IS TO BLAME. I believe the blame on fat as the problem is very misdirected and is the reason why the majority of people who lose fat, gain it back. Fat is an organ, not a cancer. It doesn’t release fuel or multiply and create more fat cells without having been stimulated, or demanded to do so. Fat gain is a side-effect, a consequence, a reaction that preserves life and prevents death by continually adapting to maintain fueling balance. Your fat cells provide the majority of fuel your entire body uses, both at night and during the day. It functions as the body’s most influential fueling source and when adequately provided, fat fuel prevents major drops in blood glucose, which prevents death. On the other hand, when fuel has over-saturated your system, ...